Monday nights have one my most anticipated new shows airing (Gotham). Plus a lot of other shows of which I'm much more wary.
Scorpion
Premiere Date: September 22
Showtime: 9pm
Network: CBS
Description: A group of 20-something genius misfits aided by one "normal" waitress, work for Homeland Security. It's basically The Big Bang Theory, except with MORE! SHOUTING! and no laugh track.
To Watch or Not to Watch:The "first look" provided by CBS is basically a 5-minute synopsis of the first episode. It looks eye-rollingly formulaic. Then again, it could always pick up after the pilot (although I don't expect it to). I think this show will be successful in the line of an NCIS, but I'm probably out for the first half, and then will see what it looks like after the midway point. Reviewers seem to find it goofy/absurd, but entertaining.
The new fall TV season is almost upon us. So what's worth watching? What should be skipped?
I've read the blogs. I've watched the trailers. I've tapped into the national zeitgeist. All so that you don't have to (you're welcome).
Each day this week I will look ahead at what new shows are coming out this season. Tonight we tackle Fall 2014's new Sunday night shows.
Sunday nights this fall are fairly light when it comes to new shows. There's just two: Madam Secretary and Mulaney (three shows are going to air in later seasons on Sunday - Galavant [winter], CSI: Cyber [winter] and American Crime [spring]).
Madame Secretary
Premiere Date: September 21
Showtime: 8pm
Network: CBS
Description: Tea Leoni is a tough, no-nonsense law professor who becomes Secretary of State after the first one dies in a mysterious plane crash. Because what we really need is another political conspiracy show. Tim Daly (the handsome one from Private Practice) plays Tea Leoni's husband. Zeljko Ivanek (True Blood's Magister, Revolution, Damages) is the Machiavellian Chief of Staff. The promo hilariously calls Tea Leoni "unconventional," "unpredictable," and "unstoppable." This is hilarious because this is the same language TV ads use when describing the lead on Generic Cop Show #23. So this is basically West Wing if it was a show about a hard-boiled maverick cop, with a little of Scandal's conspiracy thrown in.
To Watch or Not to Watch: A cautious "to watch." Early reviews are positive, but also a bit wary. HitFlix says: "nearly everything in the set-up to "Madame Secretary" is silly, from the excruciating posturing from President Keith Carradine --"You don't think outside the box. You don't even know where the box is." -- to the Vast Government Conspiracy that may or may not be afoot. [Hint -- It is. It always is.]" But it also says: "There's a potentially good show at the heart of "Madame Secretary," or there's potentially good bone structure if nothing else." TVLine enjoyed Leoni's performance and praises the cast in general but thinks the family subplot was uninteresting in the pilot and the government cover-up could elicit an eyeroll. I think I will join HitFlix in giving Madam Secretary a few episodes to try to find itself before I commit.
Snap Judgment: If you love watching Ryan Gosling staring at things for 2 hours (Drive, Only God Forgives), but always secretly wished Ryan Gosling was a hot lady, then this movie is for you. Scarlett Johansson is an alien who lures men into her van so they can be swallowed by black goo. It's based on the book of the same name by Michael Faber, which is a thousand times better than this movie because it actually explains why Scarlett Johansson is driving around Scotland killing strange men, gives her a personality, and doesn't feel like one man's kinky drug-fueled dream of Scarlett Johansson in a 1970s sci fi film. I am especially peeved by the ending, which just seems completely needless. The unnecessary naked ladies and lingerie-clad Scarlett Johansson was bad enough, but having a killer alien who preys on men fall victim to a violent sexual assault and be unable to do anything is just...what are you trying to say, director? It feels skeezy. Grade: D Final Verdict: Boring, drawn-out, and irritating. Although I did appreciate how very alien they made Scarlett Johansson (very coldly ignoring a crying, abandoned infant and showing no emotion at a good man's death). Scarlett Johansson is an champion starer - she gives Ryan Gosling a run for his money. I await: Who Will Blink First (2018)starring Ryan Gosling and Scarlett Johansson - two actors, no emotion, ONLY STARES. If you like this, watch:Solaris, The Signal, Lucy, 2001: A Space Odyssey
Snap Judgment: That awkward moment...when you realize a crappy movie isn't going to get better. This is the story of three man-children, lead by Zac Efron, as they fail to navigate love and life. It is truly a cautionary tale about what happens when you have poor communication skills. Also what happens when you squander appealing actors with good chemistry by putting them in a movie with horrible, juvenile writing.
Zac Efron and his bestie Miles Teller (The Spectacular Now) spend their days designing book covers and their nights hunting girls to bang. Look, there is nothing wrong with single adult men and women who just want casual, physical relationships. But Zac Efron and Miles Teller come across less like fun, open guys and more like they were part of the 10% of college men who think it's acceptable to have sex with a girl who is incapacitated drunk.
Snap Judgment: An overlooked comedy about the voice over industry. Writer/director/actress/comedic gem Lake Bell plays a young woman who dreams of breaking into the voiceover world, like her legendary father. Her father is utterly dismissive of her dream (partly because he's generally a conceited asshole, partly because he's incredibly sexist). Lake Bell is stuck in the stultifying job of vocal coaching, trying to teach stars like Eva Langoria how to do accents (fun tip: literally putting a cork in your mouth apparently helps you sound more Cockney! not helpful from personal experience: enthusiastically, repeatedly, and drunkenly shouting "'ELLO GOV'NA"). Lake Bell is a dream at accents, which she bolsters by (not very) sneakily recording people with interesting accents - including stalking them through the hotel lobby where her older sister works. Lake Bell finally gets a break into the industry, and is in the running for the voice over of the Hunger Games/Avatar mash-up, The Amazon Games, which will resurrect the famous phrase "In a world..." Family drama, romantic entanglements, and industry shenanigans ensue. This is the kind of small film that I really love. It's not too serious and ponderous. It doesn't have a 15 minute close-up of a flower. It's not an allegory or a metaphor. It doesn't let the message hijack the plot. It's just a small-budget story, with a focus on characters, that is funny and sweet and inspiring and emotional and tense (who will get The Amazon Games voiceover?!?!). This is the kind of movie I like to see when I'm getting worn out by blockbuster action movies and super hero films and bigger budget comedies. This is the kind of movie that you don't hear much about when it's in theaters, but it is worth finding it on DVD. Grade: A- Final Verdict: When you feel like watching a comedy with a side of tension, drama, or romance, then watch this. Bonus: it will inspire you to try to add the phrase "In a world..." to everyday events. If you like this, watch:Celeste and Jesse Forever, (500) Days of Summer, Safety Not Guaranteed, Drinking Buddies, Ruby Sparks, Jeff, Who Lives at Home
Snap Judgment: Millenial cheekiness with a 70s aesthetic. Or, to put it another way, a modern movie very consciously dressed in classic sci fi movie clothing. The very best part of the movie was the Guardian gang. Like in Friends, the characters are compelling in and of themselves, but their chemistry and interactions are what sell it. There's Peter Quill, a good-natured thief/smuggler who's trying to make his nickname Star-Lord a thing. He's played by Chris Pratt (Andy on Parks & Rec), such a naturally endearing goofball that the movie could be about him sitting around playing Pac-Man, and I would still root for him. There's Gamora (Zoe Saldana), a green-skinned assassin who's the adopted daughter of the Big Bad. She's a standard Action Girl and sadly the weak link of the group. She's only a badass when the plot calls for it, and is otherwise a typical love interest role and not even as funny as the other characters. When Peter Quill is about to be killed by the smuggler group he betrayed, she's being held back by two smugglers and struggles ineffectually while protesting Peter Quill's imminent death. YOU ARE A STONE-COLD KILLING MACHINE RAISED TO BE THE PERSONAL ASSASSIN OF THE MAN WHO SLAUGHTERED YOUR FAMILY - PLEASE ACT LIKE IT. If the plot had called for it, Gamora could've taken out the entire smuggling band with some waif-fu. But it did not, so she she played the typical Love Interest Watching The Hero In Peril role. Sad. Groot, the tree-like humanoid, was gentle and sweet and instantly loveable. I did not know it was possible to feel so many feels for a tree whose only words are "I am Groot." Groot is the muscle for Rocket, the short-tempered and violent genetically modified raccoon. Rocket's childlike bloodthirstiness and sick sense of humor provide some laughs. Rounding out the group is Drax, a warrior seeking vengeance for the death of his wife and child. He more than a little reminds me of the warrior potato species in Doctor Who. His people are entirely literal, which leads to my favorite exchange in the movie - Rocket: Metaphors go right over his head. Drax: Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are excellent and I would catch it. The delivery is spot-on. I was surprised that Drax is played by a professional wrestler - not someone I would usually think has excellent comic timing. So the Guardians group was fantastic, and their interactions made the movie sing. They even made it worth it to sit through all the ridiculousness that this film had to offer. It embraces its 70s sci fi cheesiness full on and I just had to shut my brain off when it came to talk about blah blah blah alien peace treaties and blah blah blah the Kree hate the Xandarians for some reason and blah blah blah sci fi babble and holy what the, the bad guy's ship is powered on necromancy?!?!? (best worst line in the movie: "Necropilots, enact immolation protocol!") And the Bad Guy (but NOT the Big Bad, who is a villain saved for a sequel) is a one-note villain, who seeks the MacGuffin (in this case, an Infinity Stone) to destroy a planet that pissed him off for some reason. Not the world's most original plot. Grade: B+ Final Verdict:The Guardians themselves are a delightful collection of misfits, and I could watch a whole series about them. The Bad Guy and the sci fi world were both weak and ill-defined. I want this to be a TV show and not a movie franchise - this could be absolutely brilliant if properly fleshed-out. As it is, Guardians is an enjoyable movie with a rockin' soundtrack of 60s and 70s hits. If you like this, watch: Avengers, Star Wars, Galaxy Quest, The Fifth Element, Serenity
Snap Judgment: A passionate, fumbling love affair between a Hollywood action blockbuster and a European arthouse flick. It's that couple at a party that clearly can't get enough of each other, but makes most of the other guests feel awkward and inclined to sidle out of the room. How you feel about the first 10 minutes of this movie is a good indication of what you will think of it overall. Scarlett Johansson (Lucy) is coerced/tricked by her new boyfriend into being an unwitting drug mule when he snaps a handcuff briefcase to her wrist. The film intercuts the scene of her entering the hotel to deliver the briefcase with flashes of cheetahs stalking gazelles. When the drug lord's thugs surround her and whisk her upstairs, the cheetahs catch a gazelle and drag its dead body away to devour. OMG, you guys, do you, like, think that Lucy is, like, the gazelle or something? And the thugs are, like, lumbering, muscly cheetahs? Some will think this cinematic device is clever and deep. They will love this movie. Others will think that this is a film student's eye-rollingly overdone attempt to be clever and deep. Like me, they will ultimately be disappointed by this movie. Built on the clearly debunked urban legend that humans only use 10% of their brain, the drug Lucy is muling gets into her system and lets her use more and more of her brain capacity. This instantly makes her emotions alien but also gives her awesome super powers (She can move things with her mind! She can knock people out with her mind! She can scroll through data! She can time travel (?!?)! She can change her hair color at will!) and the awkward ability to remember breastfeeding as an infant.
