The very best part of the movie was the Guardian gang. Like in Friends, the characters are compelling in and of themselves, but their chemistry and interactions are what sell it. There's Peter Quill, a good-natured thief/smuggler who's trying to make his nickname Star-Lord a thing. He's played by Chris Pratt (Andy on Parks & Rec), such a naturally endearing goofball that the movie could be about him sitting around playing Pac-Man, and I would still root for him. There's Gamora (Zoe Saldana), a green-skinned assassin who's the adopted daughter of the Big Bad. She's a standard Action Girl and sadly the weak link of the group. She's only a badass when the plot calls for it, and is otherwise a typical love interest role and not even as funny as the other characters. When Peter Quill is about to be killed by the smuggler group he betrayed, she's being held back by two smugglers and struggles ineffectually while protesting Peter Quill's imminent death. YOU ARE A STONE-COLD KILLING MACHINE RAISED TO BE THE PERSONAL ASSASSIN OF THE MAN WHO SLAUGHTERED YOUR FAMILY - PLEASE ACT LIKE IT. If the plot had called for it, Gamora could've taken out the entire smuggling band with some waif-fu. But it did not, so she she played the typical Love Interest Watching The Hero In Peril role. Sad.
Groot, the tree-like humanoid, was gentle and sweet and instantly loveable. I did not know it was possible to feel so many feels for a tree whose only words are "I am Groot." Groot is the muscle for Rocket, the short-tempered and violent genetically modified raccoon. Rocket's childlike bloodthirstiness and sick sense of humor provide some laughs. Rounding out the group is Drax, a warrior seeking vengeance for the death of his wife and child. He more than a little reminds me of the warrior potato species in Doctor Who. His people are entirely literal, which leads to my favorite exchange in the movie -
Rocket: Metaphors go right over his head.
Drax: Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are excellent and I would catch it.
The delivery is spot-on. I was surprised that Drax is played by a professional wrestler - not someone I would usually think has excellent comic timing.
So the Guardians group was fantastic, and their interactions made the movie sing. They even made it worth it to sit through all the ridiculousness that this film had to offer. It embraces its 70s sci fi cheesiness full on and I just had to shut my brain off when it came to talk about blah blah blah alien peace treaties and blah blah blah the Kree hate the Xandarians for some reason and blah blah blah sci fi babble and holy what the, the bad guy's ship is powered on necromancy?!?!? (best worst line in the movie: "Necropilots, enact immolation protocol!") And the Bad Guy (but NOT the Big Bad, who is a villain saved for a sequel) is a one-note villain, who seeks the MacGuffin (in this case, an Infinity Stone) to destroy a planet that pissed him off for some reason. Not the world's most original plot.
Grade: B+
Final Verdict: The Guardians themselves are a delightful collection of misfits, and I could watch a whole series about them. The Bad Guy and the sci fi world were both weak and ill-defined. I want this to be a TV show and not a movie franchise - this could be absolutely brilliant if properly fleshed-out. As it is, Guardians is an enjoyable movie with a rockin' soundtrack of 60s and 70s hits.
If you like this, watch: Avengers, Star Wars, Galaxy Quest, The Fifth Element, Serenity
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