Review: The Judge (2014)

Summary Judgment: I was surprised to read that this overwrought mess did not come from some schmaltzy mass market paperback. 

Robert Downey Jr. is a smarmy megarich defense attorney whose one claim to humanity is his relationship with his adorable daughter. He's pulled back to the All-American hometown he never wanted to return to for his mother's funeral. Why he has never once visited his mother in the 20-odd years since he left home (and never allowed her to see her granddaughter!) is unexplained, except that Robert Downey, Jr. will happily do anything to give the finger to his stern, strict dad, Robert Duvall (the titular Judge). Just as Robert Downey, Jr. is about to leave, after burning every bridge he can and hooking up with the teenage daughter of his ex-flame, he finds out that his father has been accused of homicide in a hit-and-run. So, of course, this brilliant defense attorney has to try the biggest case of his life - defending his estranged father. Da da DUM. 

It's terrible. Everyone is terrible. I didn't want Robert Downey, Jr. to get his redemptive arc because I never thought he deserved it. He has spent his life being self-involved, smug, and careless, all because of Daddy issues. At any time he could have grown up and realized that just because he was raised by an old-school grump it doesn't give him a license to treat everyone else as disposable. He didn't. And the film doesn't even bother to address half his character flaws, because it thinks it's enough for him to resolve his issues with his aging Dad. It's not. He's still a pretty awful brother and general human being. Does no one else care that if Robert Downey, Jr. sincerely gets back together with his ex-girlfriend (the requisite love interest in a film that surely didn't need a love interest), then he will be the step-father of the girl he hooked up with and who is still actively flirting with him? Is that not creepy to anyone else? Or the fact that this girl is related to him? Does it not bother his ex-girlfriend that he groped her daughter, who clearly has her own Daddy issues? No? Whatever, film. 

Grade: B -

Final Verdict: A throw-back to '90s melodrama, it's a mawkish mess. Robert Downey, Jr. and Robert Duvall give strong performances as two stubborn, unpleasant men who butt heads but are tied together by blood. But that's enough to make the movie compelling.

If You Like This, Watch: The Rainmaker, The Pelican Brief, The Lincoln Lawyer, Nebraska, This Is Where I Leave You, August: Osage County, Big Fish, Jerry Maguire

Review: Only Lovers Left Alive

Snap Judgment: A strange new take on the vampire love story. Tilda Swinton (Eve) is a bibliophile who embraces life and its little joys and loves, soaking her senses in Tangier and hanging out with Christopher Marlow. Tom Hiddleston (Adam) is a morose, brooding, Lord Byron/Hamlet who spends his days moping and playing music in a cluttered Detroit Victorian. Adam and Eve are centuries-old vampiric lovers who have unending love and affection for each other, without the destructive, suffocating love of most recent vampire tales (*cough*Twilight*cough*). Eve arrives in Detroit when she senses that Adam's brooding is becoming more despondent than usual. Then Eve's irresponsible, childish, impulsive, little sister Mia Wasikowska (Ava) flits into Detroit, sensing an opportunity to freeload. Events start spiraling from there.

Only Lovers Left Alive is a languid film. It's more a character piece than anything else, content to observe two mature lovers who are comfortable with their relationship and comfortable enough with each other's bodies that they cuddle together like puppies. They are opposites attracted, who have settled into each other and worn away all the sharp edges. It's a beautiful, touching romance and frankly nothing like I've seen in cinema, where the drama tends to be in the form of the romantic partners sparring/fighting/hurting/betraying. 

Adam and Eve's pasts are left largely uncharted. We know they had a third wedding sometime in the late 19th century, that Eve is besties with Christopher Marlowe, that Adam hung out with Lord Byron, and that Adam has given his music to famous artists. That's about it. It's also not clear if Ava is Eve's biological little sister or some vampire sire little sister. There's little explored about vampires, except that they do drink blood and go out at night. As much as I want more (I would watch a TV show of Adam and Eve lounging around for 5 seasons), Adam and Eve's past and this movie's vampire mythology are so beside the point of the film, that it doesn't feel like anything is missing. It doesn't matter, really, how Adam and Eve got to where they are. The focus is on this little slice of their very, very long lives.  

Grade: B+

Final Verdict: A slow, beautiful character study of centuries-old lovers who happen to be vampires. 

If You Like This, Watch: The Double, Let the Right One In, Snowpiercer

Review: Nightcrawler (2014)

Snap Judgment: Creepy. Creepy, creepy, creepy, gross. I wanted to climb in the shower and wash away the slime afterwards.

Jake Gyllenhaal is a sociopath who finds his perfect line of work: being a nightcrawler - the cameraman who rushes to the scene of accidents and murders, to film the carnage for our viewing pleasure. Jake Gyllenhaal acts the hell out this thing and plays an antisocial slimeball really convincingly. Gyllenhaal's character comes across as an animal who has climbed into a human body. He doesn't interact or respond like a well-socialized person - he is an empty core who has filled himself with self-help jargon in an effort to mimic human behavior. It's eerie to watch someone who, instead of responding naturally, spews out the lines of a slick motivational speaker: My motto is if you want to win the lottery you've got to make money to get a ticket. The only time that he comes across as authentic is when he's threatening someone else. It is only then that the mask gets pulled off and you are able to witness the abyss beneath. 

At one point, after being accused of not understanding people, he responds: What if my problem wasn't that I don't understand people but that I don't like them? I think it's both. He thinks he understands people, because he has worked out the basic mechanics. It's learning to play a score without ever feeling the music. Every interaction he has, you can see the gears shifting in his head - putting the behavioral cues into his algorithm to have it spit out a basic solution. But he can never truly understand people, because he lacks empathy.

This movie is twisted and dark, and it doesn't let up. The director has no interest in the typical Hollywood beats or the Hollywood ending. Be prepared to feel a little gross afterwards. 

Grade: B

Final Verdict: Compelling performance from Jake Gyllenhaal of a truly disgusting individual. It's a well-made film, but I can't say I enjoyed watching it. 

If You Like This, Watch: Funny Games, Reservoir Dogs, The Loft, Training Day, No Country for Old Men

Review: Birdman (2014)

Snap Judgment: Birdman is a strange beast. Michael Keaton is a washed-up blockbuster star of the superhero Birdman franchise who is trying to stay relevant and gain respect by writing/directing/starring in a Broadway adaptation of Raymond Carver's "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love." Edward Norton is a self-involved method actor who uses his method acting to engage in whatever behavior he wants. He's essentially an addict - a brilliant but damaged addict - and his drug of choice is the performance high of acting. Naomi Watts is criminally underused as a Broadway starlet who desperately craves approval - from the audience, from the director, from men. She comes across as much sweeter than Michael Keaton and Edward Norton, but just as broken and sad. 

Adding to the weirdness of the film is that Michael Keaton is having delusions (or is he?). He is tormented by the voice of Birdman, while having Birdman's powers (telekinesis and flight). The film doesn't care to tell you what's real and what's not - it's up to you to decide.

This film is definitely not going to be for everyone, but I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. Keaton, Norton, and Watts all pulled off brilliant performances (Emma Stone is here too as Keaton's recovering addict daughter, but I found her much less impressive). And it was funnier than I thought it would be. The continuous shot technique (there are no cuts between scenes) keeps everything moving, and gives it the sense of a play. 

Grade: A-

Final Verdict: Weird, fascinating, stellar performances. And refreshingly not the same formulaic Hollywood movie.    

If You Like This, Watch: Sunset Boulevard, Danny Collins, Black Swan,Begin Again, Whiplash, Up in the Air, Her

Review: Whiplash (2014)

Snap Judgment: The unlikely love story between two fiercely focused people. Really, this is like the SUPER INTENSE version of a romantic comedy (they're so wrong for each other that they are right! they complete each other!). Or maybe just Mr. Holland's Opus on steroids.

Miles Teller is a first-year student at a prestigious music college. He doesn't really have friends or know how to interact with people.  But he doesn't care about things like friends. He's driven and ambitious, and the only thing he truly cares about is being one of the great jazz drummer. About being famous. Sacrificing everything else is worth it. 

J.K. Simmons is an abusive, emotionally manipulative conductor.  He doesn't care who he hurts or how, because everyone who cracks was never worth his time anyway. He's looking for a diamond and he will put massive pressure on every lump of coal he finds until he gets one.

Miles Teller and J.K. Simmons are miserable, unlikeable people who find their equals in each other. Miles Teller is a jazz drummer who will play until he bleeds, then keep playing. J.K. Simmons will break down everyone to see who won't give up despite the damage. Together they could create the best jazz drummer the world has ever known. They are destructive, mad, and brilliant, and it is impossible to look away from them. In a way, it's a similar love story to the one in Gone Girl. They are better with each other than alone, even if they will claw each other apart.

So I'm not a jazz fan. Maybe I'm not the right audience for this movie. Because I spent an incredible amount of time wondering WHY so much blood, sweat, and tears were being poured into a dying art. It felt like it was the same stakes as a movie about trying to become/make THE BEST SHEEP SHEARER. Yes, people still shear sheep.  But you're not going to become famous forever for doing it. If you're worried about your legacy, if your entire drive is to have the world remember your name, why jazz drumming?  I don't care how hard Miles Teller works or how far he's pushed because he's never going to be the next Charlie Parker because it's not the 1950s. 

Grade: A-

Final Verdict: Intense (really, I can't think of another word for it) acting and an intense film. It's completely messed up but as sickly fascinating as a car wreck to watch.  

If You Like This, Watch: Notes on a Scandal, Birdman, Black Swan, Foxcatcher, Gone Girl, Full Metal Jacket

I don't usually do this, but I'm going to throw in some character-explaining quotes. Because the dialogue in this film says exactly what you need to know to understand these guys.

Review: Interstellar (2014)

Snap Judgment: Interstellar got such terrible word-of-mouth reviews from my friends, that I avoided seeing it in theaters. I didn't even go when it reached the second-run theater. And the second-run theater has beer that helps dull the pain of slogging through an unbearable movie.

In retrospect, I wish I had seen it in theaters. Instellar - while no Inception - was far better than my low, low expectations. Except for the last 20 minutes, which was a headache and a half. Save your five dimensions for someone who cares, Nolan. Wait, is the 5th dimension love? It's love isn't it? I'm pretty sure Anne Hathaway says that the 5th dimension is love. I'm not sure if that makes the movie more or less sensical.

Review: Wild (2014)

Snap Judgment: Z, who was born in Alaska and therefore has the wilderness survival skills of a Navy SEAL, was horrified by Reese Witherspoon's complete lack of preparation. He watched the scene of her putting on a backpack so big that she fell over like he was watching a slasher flick where the heroine runs up the stairs when the bad guy chases her. 

Reese Witherspoon stars as Cheryl Strayed: a young woman who burned her entire life to the ground and salted the ashes when her mother died. Her mother was her center, her strength, the one person who made her believe in herself. And without her, she was lost. 

With an addict's impulsiveness and recklessness, Strayed decides to walk the Pacific Crest Trail. No training. No knowledge. No preparation. Just maxing out a credit card at REI and putting one foot in front of the other. 

Strayed definitely gets special treatment for being a (pretty) lady alone on the trail. She also has to handle creeps who act like they're one bad thought away from raping her. 

Strayed's story shows why you should hike with a buddy. Better people than Strayed have died in the wilderness because they were equally unprepared and reckless. Nature is ruthless. Strayed didn't survive through grit alone: she survived mostly through luck (and the kindness of strangers).

The movie is the kind that sneaks up on you. I thought I was above the heartstring tugging of the film, but then I lost it when the credits rolled and I was hit with the aching melancholy of Simon & Garfunkel's "El Condor Pasa (If I Could)."

I do hope that this isn't the next Eat, Pray, Love and inspires a hoard of young women to wander unprepared and alone into nature to find themselves. They could come out of the woods like Strayed, finally finding her center in herself. Or they could turn into Into the Wild's Chris McCandless. 

Grade: A-

Final Verdict: A beautiful and touching story of one woman finding herself in a reckless, impulsive way.  Reese Witherspoon and Laura Dern (who played the mom) certainly deserved their Academy Award nominations - strong acting in this film.

If You Like This, Watch: Into the Wild, Julie & Julia, 127 Hours

Review: Big Eyes (2014)

Snap Judgment: I'm too young to ever have been part of the Big Eyes craze. How was something so creepy so popular? Of course, this was the same era as troll dolls, so maybe creepy was just trendy in the 1960s.

Chris Waltz and Amy Adam act their hearts out, but can't save the movie from the cinematic cardinal sin: it's boring. The one bright spot is the courtroom scene, which manages to be funny and kinetic.  

Chris Waltz plays what he plays best - a charming, smarmy, likeable, hateable man. He's Walter Keane, a conman who finds his best long con in Amy Adam's Margaret Keane. She's sweet and timid and happy to be taken care of after running away from her abusive ex-husband. 

Amy Adams turns out to be a talented artist (if by talent, you mean really good at drawing creepy children). Chris Waltz is an excellent salesman. Together they create an empire of creepy children all across America (and then the world). Unfortunately, Chris Waltz doesn't want to share any success, so he takes all the credit and uses Amy Adams as a one-woman creepy child sweatshop.  

Chris Waltz and Amy Adams play their roles with conviction. But something is missing in the film. The individual scenes worked, but it didn't come together.

Grade: B

Final Verdict: Beautifully acted but ultimately hollow. The courtroom scene (where Amy Adams takes on Chris Waltz in a court of law) was funny and sparkling - worth seeing, but not worth sitting through the whole movie for.

If You Like This, Watch: Sweeney Todd, La Vie en Rose, The Theory of Everything, Girl With a Pearl Earring, Frida  

Review: Chef (2014)

Snap Judgment: A feel-good film about a down-on his luck chef whose entire life gets revitalized by the power of the food truck. John Favreau - the writer, director, and titular chef - is probably better known as the producer/director of the Iron Man franchise. As the chef, he works at a fancy restaurant, but his artistic dreams are constantly crushed by the overcontrolling restaurant owner who demands he play it safe. When a reviewer/food blogger - who is apparently the Stephen Colbert of the California food world - calls him out on his cooking being boring, safe, and insecure, the Chef loses it. Although, strangely, the reviewer is only saying what has been clear to the Chef all along - he is constrained and dulled by the restaurant owner's control (the reviewer says these things with a lot more personal insults, so I can see how the Chef takes it too hard). It takes far too long, but the Chef finally decides to start that food truck that his ex-wife has been encouraging him to get all along. He picks it up in Miami and drives it back to California, bonding with his preteen son along the way. Yes, it is one of those feel-good films, where the loving but struggling dad reconnects with his adorable moppet. This particular adorable moppet is incredibly media-savvy, and his social media promotion helps make the food truck a success as it drive cross country.

Review: The Double (2014)

Snap Judgment: A surreal film set in an Orwellian pseudo-Soviet land based on Dostoevsky's novella of the same name. Jesse Eisenberg is a cringing doormat, trying so hard to be accommodating that everyone wants to either ignore him or be cruel to him. He's sweet and well-meaning, but incredibly timid. He's got a crush on his co-worker, Mia Wasikowska, who barely registers his existence. Then his doppelganger appears. This Jesse Eisenberg is suave, charming, and selfish. He takes what he wants, and he doesn't care what anyone else thinks - including seducing Mia Wasikowska right under his double's nose. No one else sees any resemblance between the two Jesse Eisenbergs, which makes the orignal(?)/good(?) Jesse Eisenberg wonder if he's gone crazy.

The performances are kinetic, especially Jesse Eisenberg in both his roles. The film is highly stylized, which makes the film even more surreal. It is also surprisingly funny at parts, like in this conversation between the two Jesse Eisenbergs:    

Evil doppelganger: When you're walking with a woman, or standing next to one of them, you want to put your hand on their lower back. Not the ass - they sometimes get upset about that - but just above it. It shows that you're interested, but that you can push them down the stairs at any moment.

Good doppelganger: Why?

Evil doppelganger: Because you've got the leverage. 

Grade: B

Final Verdict: A stunning performance by Jesse Eisenberg that should've garnered more attention from the awards folk, but was not to be because this is a small, semi-obscure film (also, it is listed as 2013, although it did not premiere outside of film festivals until 2014). It's weird and artistic, and should not be watched for the plot so much as the performances. 

If You Like This, Watch: Night Moves, Locke, Only Lovers Left Alive

Review: Into the Woods (2014)

Snap Judgment: Take a bunch of popular fairy tale characters (Little Red Riding Hood, Jack & the Beanstalk, Rapunzel, Cinderella – plus a twist on the standard fairytale of the childless couple with The Baker and His Wife). Give them everything they want in the first half. Make them really live with their choices in the second half (remember kids, what you think you want and what you actually want are not always the same thing; wishes are tricksy things). Add lots of music. Make sure you use the Grimm versions, so toes are chopped off and eyes are pecked out.  Voila - Into the Woods.    
 

I was in middle school when I first heard about Into the Woods. Fascinated by fairy tales and their deconstructions, but with no play versions in my area (and unaware that there was a VHS version), I ordered a copy from the library and read it. I loved it – the happily ever afters in the first half, and their dismantlings in the second half. I think it’s a testament to the writing that I could enjoy a musical as a paperback play. I finally saw the stage version in college, and I was honestly a little underwhelmed, although it was nice to finally put a tune to the lyrics.

This is to say – I’m not a diehard Into the Woods Sondheim fan, but I’ve got a little exposure to the non-Disneyfied version.  The film’s first half is the strongest. The acting is, of course, delightful, as you’d expect when you hire people like Meryl Streep (evil witch) and Emily Blunt (baker’s wife). Even the kid actors (Little Red Riding Hood & Jack) are solid. 

Review: Happy Christmas (2014)

Snap Judgment: Based on nothing but the poster, I looked forward to a light-hearted romantic comedy about two sisters, the uptight one (who learns to relax!) and the carefree one (who learns how to follow through!). Like a Hallmark Holiday movie, with slightly better writing and more famous actors. 

This is not light-hearted nor a romantic comedy nor are the two ladies on the poster sisters. Happy Christmas is in fact a minimalist mumblecore - meaning that people look and sound like they are in a home movie, or maybe just stumbled in front of a camera.

Melanie Lynskey (the nice stepsister from Ever After) and director/actor Joe Swanberg are a young married couple with an adorable 2-year old. Joe Swanberg's little sister Anna Kendrick whirlwinds into the couple's lives upending little but being terribly immature, irresponsible, and allergic to responsibility (& apologies). Although Anna Kendrick bonds with Melanie Lynskey while helping her write a romance novel, she continues to muck things up by turning to alcohol and weed whenever anything difficult glances her way. 

About 20 minutes in, Z turned to me and asked, "Is this even a movie? Nothing is actually happening." And then he gave up and stopped watching. Because, yes, nothing happens. Everyone fumbles around and mumbles around and the ending is an abrupt halt that pretends to resolve the dynamics, but really cuts off without any actual character growth. The only things I appreciated about the film were (1) the scenes where the ladies sit around and plot their romance novel & (2) Lena Dunham being surprisingly likeable and not the entitled, inappropriate one.

Joe Swanberg's last film was Drinking Buddies, which both Z and I liked considerably more, because it had a recognizable plot. This one is more suitable for background noise, when you can't find an episode of Law & Order to fill the silence.

Grade: B-

Final Verdict: For an entertaining movie about a young married couple confronted with rowdy twenty-somethings, watch Neighbors. For better mumblecore, watch Drinking Buddies. For some meandering mumbling, watch this. 

If You Like This, Watch: Frances Ha, Drinking Buddies, Your Sister's Sister, Tiny Furniture. Jeff, Who Lives At Home    

Review: Top Five (2014)

Snap Judgment: A very different movie than what is promised by the trailers (just because you think the trailer’s amusing, doesn’t mean you’ll think the movie is). Like all comedies, Your Mileage May Very based on what kind of jokes you find funny. There’s racial humor and two very drawn-out sex jokes that fell pavement-to-face flat for me.

  

Top Five is a dramedy where the drama worked much better than the comedy. Chris Rock is an alcoholic comedian who has been trying to pursue a more “serious” career since he sobered up. His attempts at prestige flicks have fallen flat with audience members and critics, including Uprize, a terrible-looking Haitian revolt period piece which he is on a promotion tour for. Chris Rock has some clever things to say about celebrity and if the film had kept a focus on this, it could have been a more enjoyable movie. Instead, Chris Rock decides to shoe-horn in a very traditional romantic comedy with Rosario Dawson. No complaints with Dawson’s performance – she’s sharp as a smart, tenacious New York Times journalist who bonds with Chris Rock over their shared struggles with alcoholism.  But all the romantic comedy tropes weigh the movie down, including the Seeing the Love Interest In a New Light After Meeting Family/Friends and the Misunderstanding That Causes a Brief Break-Up and the Evil Boyfriend/Fiancée Who Is Clearly Not Right For the Lead(s). Gabrielle Union is criminally underused as Chris Rock’s reality TV starlet fiancée. Gabrielle Union always brings sympathy and intelligence to her roles, and it’s a shame that Chris Rock didn’t spend more time exploring celebrity using Gabrielle Union’s desperate, hungry fame seeker.    

Grade: B-

Final Verdict:  Personally, some of the jokes jumped the spectrum from unfunny to downright uncomfortable for me, which dulled my enjoyment of the film. If jokes about an unwanted foursome with two prostitutes and Cee-Lo Green and a really long sequence about things (wanted and unwanted) going up butts don’t turn you off, then go ahead and see this. Otherwise, give it a pass. 

If You Like This, Watch: Down to Earth, I Think I Love My Wife, Funny People, Everything Must Go      

Review: The Imitation Game (2014)

Snap Judgment: A cinematic biopic that may rewrite history to deliver the story it wants (see Slate's excellent article on the movie's accuracy), but is forgiven because of its compelling storytelling. Benedict Cumberbatch is Alan Turing, a focused and eccentric genius lacking in people skills (in other words, a 21st century hero). Turing is part of a team seeking to crack Enigma, the Nazi encoding machine. If the Allies can break Enigma, they can read every secret message that the Nazis send out and save lives and win the war (spoiler alert: the Allies win the war). Cumberbatch is brilliant as Turing, unsurprising as the Turing character is basically Cumberbatchian typecasting. The rest of the cast is also strong, and will be full of a hey! it's that guy/gal! for anyone who watches any amount of British TV (hey! it's George Wickham from Death Comes to Pemberly! hey! it's Tom from Downton Abbey! hey! it's Tywin Lannister from Game of Thrones!). Kiera Knightley is the lone skirt, a brilliant cryptanalyst who is briefly engaged to Alan Turing. Wait, what - wasn't Alan Turing gay? Yes, yes he was, and he still is in this film. He really was engaged to Kiera Knightley's character. The movie plays the Turing/Kiera Knightley dynamic not as a sweeping romance, but as a friendship between two people who enjoy each other's minds. Kiera Knightley gives a Kiera Knightleyish performance (she's still thrusting out her jaw to display emotion) and your appreciation of it depends on how you generally view her acting.

The tone of the movie is a general inspiring biopic - a misfit genius who is initially misunderstood but eventually is accepted and whose leap of brilliance pays off. The end is less feel-good, of course, as Turing is convicted of indecency and sentenced to chemical castration for being a homosexual. It's a sad end-note, but I'm glad the movie went further than the breaking of Enigma, as leaving the movie with an uplifting ending would ignore the tragedy and horror of criminalizing homosexuality.          

Grade: A

Final Verdict: A very Hollywood biopic with strong acting that hits all the right notes.

If You Like This, Watch: The King's Speech, The Duchess, The Queen, 42, The Young Victoria, A Single Man, Enigma

New Year, New Resolutions

I've been neglecting this blog for far too long. I'm still watching movies, but not getting the reviews up. Luckily, a new year is the perfect time to get back on track. One of my resolutions for this year is to update every Monday and Friday. I may update more often (especially as I catch up with my 2014 movie reviews), but Monday and Friday for sure. The blog format will remain mostly movie reviews, with occasional entries on TV. 

Anyone who knows me knows I love lists. So I'm eagerly making my list and checking it twice on the best films of 2014. There's still some major movies in 2014 that I need to see (Into the Woods, Selma, etc.). So look out for that list at the end of January. Before that, I will look ahead at 2015 and share which movies I'm most looking forward to (spoiler: sequels to The Avengers and Pitch Perfect will definitely be on that list).