Review: The Lego Movie (2014)

Snap Judgment: While not quite as awesome as its earworm of a song (everything is AWESOME! everything is great when you're part of a team...), this is still a fun movie. Plus, if I had to choose between showing this and Frozen to my imaginary children, I would choose The Lego Movie any day of the week. The Lego Movie teaches kids that everyone has the ability to step up and be a hero. Meanwhile Frozen teaches kids that you shouldn't become a shut-in (especially when you're the heir to the kingdom and bursting with magic), because otherwise when you finally do emerge, your social anxiety will be so bad that one embarrassing faux pas will send you running up a frozen mountain with no food to sing a power ballad about how great your life is now that you're a true hermit. 

The humor in the Lego Movie is a lot like that in 22 Jump Street, except with fewer alcohol and sex jokes (fun fact: Channing Tatum is the voice of Superman here, with Jonah Hill his aspiring bromantic partner as Green Lantern). That means there's a lot of meta-humor and playing with established tropes, especially that of the Chosen One. Chris Pratt (Andy from Parks & Rec) is always endearing, even when he is just a voice for a yellow plastic figure. He voices Emmett, a regular Joe so average that none of his coworkers even remember him. But he's smart and caring and imaginative and kind, so even though he's not a badass like action girl Wildstyle or the egotistical Batman, he's the clear hero of the movie. 

If you come at this with no expectations, which I'm sure the critics did in February (it's a movie based on toys and it came out in the dead season of winter), then it's going to be incredible. If you take the 97% rating on Rotten Tomatoes to believe that it's the next Wall-E, you're going to be slightly disappointed. It's a fun, silly movie. Don't go in expecting more. 

Grade: B+

Final Verdict: Take this for what it is - a tongue-in-cheek movie for kids based on some of their favorite toys. It's appealing, amusing, and contains some positive messages. And expect to find yourself singing everything is AWESOME for the next few weeks. 

If you like this, watch: Wreck-It Ralph, Shrek

Review: Vampire Academy (2014)

Snap Judgment: This movie is Gossip Girl mixed with Buffy. The fact that it got a 10% average rating from reviewers and a 62% average rating from the audience indicates that it is not a terrible movie, but it is not a movie that middle-aged men would enjoy. I mean, did you read that title? It was destined to be critically hated (read: hated by older men).

This movie is based on a series of books that I admit to have read, initially because I was bored and they were popular. The book series turned out to be surprisingly funny and fun (until the last two, which were a couple of hot messes). The plot premise sounds ridiculous, so bear with me. There are two types of vampires: Moroi (the good, magical vampires) and Strigoi (the evil, Dracula-like vampires). The good vampires are protected by the Dhampir (half-human, half-vampire guardians), and as teenagers go to a vampire boarding school. The book centers on a sarcastic Dhampir guardian and her friendship with a Moroi vampire princess. I know, I know, it sounds so inane, but author Richelle Mead somehow made it work. And I’m not going to feel bad about liking it. Look, people unabashedly read Twilight fanfiction about a hot rich dude who falls in love with the innocent young lady he has a bondage contract with (50 Shades) and a thriller about a bland professor who searches for the Holy Grail with a hot lady while being chased by an evil albino (Da Vinci Code). So I'm going to enjoy my books about teenage vampires at boarding school and not be ashamed.  

Review: Grand Piano (2014)

Snap Judgment: Characterized as Speed at the piano or Die Hard at a concert hall. It's not quite the high-octane blockbusters that those imply, but this is an exciting, entertaining movie nonetheless. Elijah Wood has the giant eyes of a perpetually startled chipmunk, so he looks appropriately anxious/terrified/surprised at all times. Elijah is a famous pianist with a terrible case of stage fright. At his last performance five years ago, he froze while playing his dead mentor's nearly impossible-to-play piece, "La Cinquette." For this performance, Elijah has shipped in his mentor's own piano. A mentor who was fabulously wealthy and whose fortune was never found. This film has set up an obvious collection of Chekov's guns, and they all go off at once. Elijah finds "Play one wrong note and you die" written in red on his sheet music. He quickly finds out that this is not a joke, and John Cusack is dead serious about it. For a man who is SO insistent that Elijah Wood not play any wrong notes, John Cusack sure chats a lot. Maybe you should try being silently menacing next time, okay John? Instead of always yelling I'M GOING TO KILL YOUR WIFE PLAY PERFECTLY OR BAM!! It cannot be helping Elijah's concentration. 

Grade: B+

Final Judgment: Nicely tense, nicely brief (only 1 1/2 hours!), and with suspenseful classical music built into its premise, this was a surprisingly worthwhile movie.

If you like this, watch: Hitchcock's oeuvre, Speed     

News: Community Season 6 Coming to Yahoo

Yes, despite the fact that so far I've only done movie reviews, this was originally designed to be a movie/TV blog. 

So here's pretty-late breaking TV news: Community, after being axed this season, was saved by Yahoo. I am not sure how I feel about this. While Community is generally clever and funny, Season 4 made me think that the show's quality was flickering and it was ready to move on to the Big Channel in the Sky. I'm watching Season 5 now and you can see the difference that Dan Harmon as showrunner makes (due to disputes, he was out for Season 4). The show came back in fighting form, and Season 5's third episode (Basic Intergluteal Numismatics) is one of the highlights of the entire show, spoofing moody crime dramas like The Killing. 

Review: Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

Snap Judgment: A smart, engaging sci fi movie that is well worth your time. Even if you're wary of Tom Cruise (especially after the snore-fest of Oblivion), you should see it. Tom Cruise plays a slick, slimy, selfish ex-ad exec who is forcibly sent to the front lines in a D-Day invasion against an alien force that has taken over continental Europe. He quickly dies. Then he wakes up the day before the battle, and repeats the invasion and his death Groundhogs Day style. He eventually teams up with Emily Blunt, a supersoldier known as the Angel of Verdun (or more derogatively, the Full Metal Bitch). Based on the Japanese light novel All You Need Is Kill, this film is right up there with Pacific Rim for a great sci fi action film. The premise of death and rebirths is cleverly done, and the writers made sure it never got too repetitive. Sometimes, it is clear that Cruise has relived this timeline of events over and over, and we only see him once he’s gotten it down. Sometimes, it looks like he is on a fresh path until he takes an action that shows he’s been down this road before. It is also funny in parts, and a sense of humor is so refreshing after Christopher Nolan has made the dark and dreary action movie fashionable. And for a movie in which the main character can revive video game style, it is surprisingly tense. The climax of the movie – the final final battle, where everything is on the line and there are no more chances – had my heart in a death grip, and the only thing that kept it from exploding was the knowledge that Hollywood blockbusters just won’t end with the aliens winning (I hoped). 

It was fun watching Tom Cruise morph through his entire acting range – from smarmily charming to stone cold badass. The no-bullshit, war-loving Master Sergeant Farrell ("Battle is the great redeemer. It is the fiery crucible in which the only true heroes are forged.") was a nice example of a minor character infused with so much personality that he became vibrant. But special shoutout in this movie goes to Emily Blunt (both the actress and her character). I cannot tell you how incredibly refreshing it is to see a female lead who is not only never treated as eye candy, but also plays the role of mentor and comrade-in-arms. Emily Blunt is Tom Cruise’s equal in every way – and she’s a better fighter than him until he’s fought and died often enough. She’s tough, calm, and efficient and has seen so much death that it doesn’t scare her – she’s only worried about the mission failing. She doesn’t cry, she doesn’t scream – she’s exhausted beyond all feeling, but she handles herself and does what needs to be done. You could exchange her for a male actor, and 99% of her character and the movie would be the same (and, really, this kind of character is bread-and-butter for Liam Neeson, Bruce Willis, Jeremy Renner, and Matt Damon). So impressive, and Emily Blunt plays it perfectly.

Grade: A+

Final Judgment: Smart, darkly funny, thrilling, and with stellar performances - everything you could want in your action film.

If you like this, watch: Pacific Rim, Looper, The Matrix, Inception